[This is a repost while I am away on leave]
One of the very difficult things we do as pastors is that we help organise funerals when loved ones die. While this is difficult it is also a great privilege. You are there pastoring people in the middle of their deep grief. Often there is this overwhelming sense of loss. People are shedding their tears. The mood is quiet and reflective. As you enter the room everyone looks up to you to help. What do you do in this situation? A grand speech isn't going to help. There is nothing you can do to help the person who has died. You are just confronted with this deep sense of loss. How do you help? In my experience the best thing you can do is to simply enter into the situation, and join the family in their grief. To shed some of your own tears at the loss of the loved one. I think this is the best approach because it seems to me that this is what Jesus did when Lazarus died. Jesus entered in, shared in their sorrow, and walked with them in their grief. Let's have a look.
Scripture: John 11:28-37 (ESV)
When she had said this, she went and called her sister Mary, saying in private, ‘The Teacher is here and is calling for you.’ And when she heard it, she rose quickly and went to him. Now Jesus had not yet come into the village, but was still in the place where Martha had met him. When the Jews who were with her in the house, consoling her, saw Mary rise quickly and go out, they followed her, supposing that she was going to the tomb to weep there. Now when Mary came to where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet, saying to him, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.’ When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled. And he said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept. So the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him!’ But some of them said, ‘Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man also have kept this man from dying?’
In this passage, we see Jesus deeply moved by the sadness and grief of Mary. Mary tells Jesus: "If you had been here, my brother would not have died". On the one hand this is a statement of faith. She believed Jesus could heal, she knows he could have prevented Lazarus from dying. So on the one hand this is a great statement of faith. But her words are also laced with pain. She wrestled with why Jesus didn't come quickly. Why did he delay? In some ways this is a kind of pain many of us have dealt with. Whenever God delays in answering our prayers, we can feel similarly to Mary.
However, Jesus doesn't answer her unspoken question. He doesn't give her a reason for his delay. Instead, seeing her weeping, he himself was moved to compassion and he was "greatly troubled". Jesus enters into her grief and grieves with her. This shows us Jesus' genuine compassion for Mary's, and our pain. Think about this, Jesus knew he was about to raise Lazarus from the dead, but this knowledge doesn't stop him from entering into Mary's grief and grieving with her. Healing and resurrection may be around the corner, but that doesn't mean Jesus doesn't care.
At the same time, this moment points us back to the purpose of John’s Gospel. John wants us to believe in Jesus as the Son of God, who enters our broken world not as a distant deity but as a compassionate Saviour who feels our struggles. This picture is one where we see Jesus doing exactly this. He enters into Mary's suffering and suffers with her. The same goes for us, Jesus enters into the world to suffer on the cross for us.
So what does this mean for us? It means we can take comfort in a Saviour who is close to us, who understands our pain and willingly steps into it alongside us. Jesus is present with us, he walks with us in our darkest moments, he feels our sorrows and he gives us his Spirit to comfort us.
And that means that no matter what we are going through, we can lean on Jesus, who is right there with us.
Prayer:
Lord Jesus, thank you for being the saviour who weeps with us. In our own times of grief, help us feel your presence. Help us to be attentive to your presence with us in the pain. Amen.
Spiritual Challenge:
Today, spend a few quiet moments with Jesus. Bring your hidden pain and questions to him and ask him to help you feel his care for you in this.
Jesus weeps with us